


I’ll Breathe Your Air Into My Lungs

by allyouroceans



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentions of marriage, Mutual Pining, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and actual marriage, it's a slow burn but i fast-forwarded it, it's cheesy please tolerate with it, jaehyungparkian as childhood friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyouroceans/pseuds/allyouroceans
Summary: "We all had that moment in our childhood years where we wanted to marry someone we loved and felt attached. Well, I once had that thought, too, but guess what: I wanted to marry my neighbor."(alternatively: that story where Brian tells us about the love of his life.)
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae
Comments: 23
Kudos: 62





	I’ll Breathe Your Air Into My Lungs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [minhobbit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhobbit/gifts).



> • Based on an idea from my favorite person Melina about how we'd want to marry our loved ones as a kid. This is for you, I hope you like it! <3
> 
> • Thanks to pp for beta-ing this I don't love you
> 
> • The title and inspiration of the whole story is from Ed Sheeran's [Where We Land](https://youtu.be/Yal0qWxvIWg) <3

_I start to feel those butterflies_  
_When I'm next to you_

"We all had that moment in our childhood years where we wanted to marry someone we loved and felt attached. Most people would want to marry their dads or moms or babysitters because they were the one who raised us up and took care of us. Someone would want to marry their grandmas or grandpas because they usually gave you so many toys and food when you paid a visit. Well, I once had that thought, too, but guess what: I wanted to marry my neighbor.

"Now, you may think that it is such a weird thought. Who would want to marry their neighbor? They have nothing to do with your life nor the way you were brought up. Well, this particular neighbor is so many things to me. This neighbor has been my non-biological brother, my first best friend, my babysitter, and basically my other half.

"I and that neighbor grew up together. He was there since the moment I was born. He was one of the people I remembered as soon as I started to recognize faces of family members. He took care of me even though he didn't need to. He was always the one I stayed with when my parents needed to work abroad. We did a lot of things together: we cooked, we played games, we read, we walked to the movies and back, we went shopping, we binge watched Netflix, we bleached each other's hair, we cried over a sad ending k-drama, we shared secrets, we made promises. I am confident to say that my childhood memories are made perfect by him, with him. He completed what was missing by being that missing part himself. And I'm so grateful for that, for all the thing he's done. However, things started to change. I grew older. He grew older. We both grew older. And I did this stupid thing, which I regretted so much: I grew distant from him.

"I didn't know what got into me, but I started to detach myself from him, little by little. Thinking that being clingy and attached to someone is an act of a child. Saying that I gotta be cool, do cool stuffs, like grown-ups. So I decided to start by coming home later than usual, ignoring his texts, denying his invitation for sleepovers, pretending not to see him at school when we walk past each other.

"It was hard, god, it was super hard to do that. At first, I thought it was because I'm so close with him, so it's hard to change something we are used to. But then I figured out that it hurt me more than it satisfied me. It also hurt him. It hurt both of us. It was painful seeing his house filled with people I didn't know. It was painful to think that in his bed there might be someone sleeping. It was painful to hear sounds of his guitar and his honey-like voice singing to someone that wasn't me. It was even worse seeing hints of tears on his beautiful face when we bumped into each other at school. But he said it was nothing. He said it was just academic stress. I didn't believe him, for I have known him for all my life. And I thanked myself for not believing him, since he did lied to me. It wasn't the _nothing_ he was talking about.

"So I went back to him. I said I'm sorry. I apologized for all of my stupid acts. And he was so, so kind. He said he was never angry at me, that he understood very well how I felt, that he was never going to leave me even though I might find a friend better than him someday. It ruined our hearts worse than ever, but I was so glad that our friendship was still doing fine. We got even closer, even more understanding, even more inseparable. On his graduation day, I bought him a huge bouquet of fake flowers, knowing very well how he is allergic to real ones. He told me I did good, so my flowers would stay in the vase at his home forever. On my graduation day, three years later, he bought me real flowers. His nose was so red and he teared up a bit from his allergy, but he managed to bring them to me. He told me that he wanted me to keep his flowers forever, too, but real flowers looked prettier and they suited me very well. I guess I didn't have to tell you that I literally cried.

"Our college lives weren't the best, obviously. We faced a lot of difficulties and hardships, just like everyone else did. We didn't share dorms because we went to different colleges, but we still make it up by crashing over at each other's house on the breaks. Our houses have been next to each other for all of our lives anyway, so there wasn't any problem. And on one particular Summer break, as I was laying with him on my bed, I figured out that I didn't like spending time with him anymore.

"It wasn't that I don't like him; I just hated myself when I'm with him, hated the feelings I felt when I'm with him. I was in this dilemma where I wanted to push him away to the edge of this damn world and to hold him close in my arms at the same time. I hated the weird emotions that came every time he hugged me, smiled to me, or even told me stories about his life. I suddenly hated staying near him. Staying in his bed. Listening to the songs he'd sent. But at the same time I wanted more. I wanted to hug him, to feel his skin on my skin, to eat the food he cooks, to listen to his songs, to hear him sing, to be with him every day, to hold his hands when he needs someone to cheer him up. It was like having rainbows and a clear crystal blue sky but the next minute all you see were thunderclouds and hurricanes. It sucked, a lot. I was very confused and irritated by my own self to the point where I didn't know what to do. It was weird, and I knew that it would hurt both of us.

"And like a kind, loving boy he always was, he didn't complained. He didn't blame me. He never blamed me. Instead, he blamed himself. He thought he wasn't good enough. He thought I had new friends and was ready to leave him. He thought he was unbearable and annoying. It wasn't his fault at all for thinking like that, considering that I had nearly left him once. And I'm still guilty for what my past stupid self have done. I shouldn't have done those things, especially when I know it'd hurt both of us. Especially when he has always been good to me, caring for me, and doing everything he possibly could to help me live the best life.

"Luckily, it didn't take long for me to realize what those feelings are; the reason why I feel bad staying around, why did I love and hate myself when I was with him: it's because I've fallen in love. Those weird things in my body were just butterflies flying around in my stomach, and my own heart that was drumming too fast. Those hatred was just jealousy from the fact that I couldn't keep him to myself and make him mine. And that answered every questions I had for myself back then.

"Then I thought things would get better. I thought we'd be good. But it turned out to be even harder when I knew that I'm in love with my best friend, because I had no idea if he felt the same. I had no idea what would gonna happen if one day I can't keep the feelings to myself anymore and decide to tell him, to confess. He might be scared. He might walk away. I knew he wasn't straight, because we've been friends for all our lives, but not being straight didn't mean he'd like me back. But luckily, something unexpected happened on a night we shared."

* * *

It was college break, again. This night, it was Jae's turn to stay at Younghyun's. The hot summer breeze was brushing their skin as the two boys sat on the rooftop looking at the clear night sky, both with a can of beer in their hands. There were no stars that night, but both couldn't care less. Being with one another was already a blessing for them; they could never ask for anything more.

'Hey,' Jae started first. The elder shifted his position, turning to sit crossed leg facing Younghyun. He could tell from the voice that Jae wasn't thinking quite straight. 'You good?'

'Good? Sure! Why wouldn't I be?'

'You seemed... quite distant from me.'

_It's just because I'm fucking in love with you, Jae. But I can’t tell you because you're my fucking best friend._

'I'm not. You're overthinking again.' He said plainly, hoping for the other to believe him and move on to another topic. He was no where near ready to confess his feelings. Things went silent for a couple of minutes, and Younghyun was almost afraid Jae would be able to hear his too loud heartbeats. Jae looked up at the sky above his head, downing another can of beer. In the faint moonlight he could slightly see how Jae's face was flushed from the alcohol running in his system. _Jae was cute when he was drunk. And hella sexy too._

'Hey, Brian,' Jae started again. Younghyun gulped. Jae only used his English nickname when he is 1) emotional 2) excited 3) angry and all of them were nerve-wrecking for Younghyun. 'You still remember our childhood promise?'

'Huh? Which one?' Okay, now Younghyun started to panic. There were so many promises they made as children, and Younghyun was never sure if he could keep all of them unbroken. After all, you lose a lot of things along the road of adulting, some of them being memories and words you can't keep with yourselves.

'You once promise you'd marry me when we grow up.' Jae stated, his voice showing happiness. Or maybe nostalgia. Younghyun was too afraid to be self-conceited to think like that. _It was probably just Jae's random thoughts. Yes. It must be._

'Oh, yeah.' Younghyun laughed nervously. 'Mom always mock me about this. It's funny, though.'

'Funny? Do you even remember that I said yes?'

'What?'

'Damn. I should've known. I was seven and you were just four back then.' Jae mumbled, much to himself, but in the quiet night Younghyun could hear every single syllables of Jae's words so clear. 'Just... forget what I said.'

'Hey! Did you really say yes?' Younghyun asked, his voice now filled with excitement. He was still too afraid to call it hope. Or expectation.

'Well, basically I did. I mean, who wouldn't? You're just too lovely for your own good, Bri. Everyone loves you.'

'Do you?' Younghyun blurted out. He almost slapped himself with his own foot after realizing what had come out from his mouth. _Shit._

'Do I what? Do I love you?' Jae asked him as his long fingers managed to flick open another can of beer. He sighed as he looked at his beer silently, thoughts wandering away. 'You ask if I love you? Really?'

'What's... wrong with that?' Brian asked, suddenly afraid of something he couldn't quite name. Disappointment? Jae'd never, in any occasions, disappoint him. Loneliness? Jae'd never, in any situations, leave him alone either.

'Listen, Bri. Stop playing with my feelings, please?'

'Wait, when did I--'

'If you already know how much I like you, then just try to have mercy on me. I'm quite good at keeping things to myself, but when it comes to something about you, it's all too hard. I'm sorry for having to say it all out but if you keep saying things like this,' He gestured to the younger, 'or saying things that make me blush like this,' he then used his index finger to gently poke Brian's collar bone. 'my heart might not be able to take it. Do you know how hard it is to suppress the urge of pulling you into a kiss? I--' Brian stopped Jae mid-sentence with his own lips. The kiss was chaste, and full of unspoken words they were too afraid to tell each other just then. They tasted undoubtedly like their beer, but it was perfect. Just finally perfect for them.

Jae blinked in confusion when they finally parted. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but he ended up just flabbergasted.

'What...'

'Hey, Jae,' Brian inhaled deeply. As he said, he was no where near ready to confess his feelings. But he needed to do it. Now. 'I like you too. No, I think I might be in love with you. For the past ten years or even more.'

'Seriously?' Jae gasped. His beautiful eyes were literally sparkling in the dark.

'Yes. I'm just too afraid the feeling wasn't mutual, so I kinda kept quiet..'

'Dude,' Jae laughed, his face showing disbelief. 'I-- I thought I was being super obvious! It's you who didn't show any signs or drop any hints! My friends who gave me advice told me to do this and that to you and every time I tried you just push me away so I thought you hated me and what I did!'

'Hyung, look at me,' Younghyun gently grabbed the other's shoulders. (He knew Jae liked it when he calls him hyung, because he rarely does so, and it's a legitimately intimate thing to do between them. Maybe it's their personal liking.) 'I'm sorry for what I did. I hated myself and my feelings, and I thought I needed to stay away to ease those feelings. I thought it was bad. But it's just being in love. It's just liking you too much I suffered because I thought you'd never be mine.'

'Bribri,' Jae called him. Younghyun looked up from his crossed legs, just to be welcomed with another kiss. Jae's lips were soft and sweet, just exactly like what Younghyun imagined of, dreamed of. They took their time to remember what the other felt like, to savor each other's scent and sounds and taste, to make up for lost time they were to afraid to love each other openly. The kiss was quite messy considering they both never kissed anyone before.

'Hey,' Younghyun whispered after they parted for air. Their foreheads were still pressing against each other's, breath brushing breath. 'So what would this lead us to?'

'I don't know.' Jae had replied casually, 'Let's free fall and see where we land?'

Brian giggled, enjoying the way Jae used their favorite song's lyrics to answer. 'That actually sounds like the best option.'

* * *

"I never think that that silly childhood promise would come true one day. I mean, I probably didn't think much when I said it, and you probably didn't think much too when you said yes. And our parents make fun about it a lot. But I'm super glad I'm standing here where I am, with you next to me, in our wedding.

"This is getting long now so I'm gonna stop before anyone gets sleepy. Well, I might not say it often, Jae, but I love you so, so much. and I highly appreciate how I get to spend exactly my whole life with you. Thank you so much for existing, you beautiful, adorable creature."

Sounds of applause and cheering filled the beautifully decorated rooftop they were in. Younghyun smiles, suddenly feeling shy of all the rants he's been babbling for the past five minutes or so. He looks around, feeling equally proud and overwhelmed by everything before his eyes. His friends, his family, Jae's friends, Jae's family, the cake, the white and dark purple ribbons for decorations (because Jae was allergic to flowers, as we all know), and basically every single subtle details that add up to the perfect scenery of sunset and pale orange evening sky in the background. It is all breathtaking, all like a dream. The microphone is then passed to Jae, his groom. He looked perfect in black suit and softly styled dirty blonde hair, so ethereal, as if he was one of god's masterpieces.

"Well, you've said it all," Jae clears his throat as he continues. "But, yeah. I'll still be your non-biological brother, your first best friend, not your baby sitter anymore even though I wish I could be," He earns a laugh from the guests. "—and your other half, because you've always been mine, too. But now we've earned another title for each other: we're husbands. And, and I'm more than honored to be able to continue sharing the rest of my life with you. Thank you for always being here, through bad times and good times, smiles and tears, thick and thin, and basically everything that came crashing into my life. I just want to let you know that I love you too, Brian, even more than how I love my lobsters. And you know that I love my lobsters, like, a lot. So that means I love you the most, and nothing's gonna ever replace you, okay?"

Needless to say, Brian then pulls Jae in for the sweetest of sweet kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> • This is surprisingly my first work on AO3! I actually have drafted three stories (after being a faithful jaebri reader for half a year or so) but all are too long so I haven't finished them even though it's been months hahahaha but when I saw this idea I immediately started planning everything out and it's finished in a day. You can say that it's kind of rushed but I really, really put effort in this work! I also never used this type of narrative style before so I'm equal parts excited and nervous TT
> 
> • English isn't my first language, so if you find any weird phrases and/or any grammatical mistakes, please kindly let me know in the comments!
> 
> • Thank you so so so so much for spending your time to read this, comments and kudos are highly appreciated! <3


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